"Who am I to argue?"

*Names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent, and in some cases the not so innocent.

Jane was a typical housewife. One day while cleaning house, doing laundry, feeding the children, and standing on her head something on the tv caught her attention.

"All new" the announcer blared. "How to get the compliments you crave. Revive your relationship today!" Jane was interested.

The announcer went on, "Are you a shlumpadinka?" Jane looked down at her oversized t-shirt, baggy sweats, and mismatched socks and cried out "Yes!!!" Surprised and slightly embarassed that she was talking to the tv, Jane continued to listen.

"It's all about looking the part," the announcer explained. "Put on some makeup, do your hair, dress up, even if it's only around the house."

Jane tried to imagine herself doing dishes in high heels and a nice dress. The vision was a little fuzzy, but "who am I to argue?" she thought. "After all they are the experts." She decided to put this new information to the test.

Jane had to hurry. Her husband, John, would be home in about five minutes. She rushed to her closet, threw on a clean shirt, ran to the bathroom, brushed her hair, applied her favorite lipstick and blush, ran back down the hall, and was ready to greet John as he walked thru the front door. "Would he notice?" she wondered.

"Hi Honey!" John smiled.
"Honey," John said again, his tone was serious.

This was it, she thought, the big moment, She could feel a compliment comming on already. Jane tried to contain her excitement.

"Yes" she giggled.

"Are you feeling ok?" John continued.
"You look tired, and your cheeks are so red! Have you been over doing it around here? You sound out of breath."

Jane tried to hide her disappointment, but "who am I to argue?" she thought. Come to think of it she was over worked around here. Jane realized she would need to be persistent if she wanted the expiriment to be successful. She decided to try again, this time she would give herself sufficent time to prepare. "Ahaaa" she mused, her friends wedding was two weeks away. It would be the perfect opportunity, and that should be plenty of time.

For the next few weeks Jane devoted all her free time to important matters such as picking out the perfect shoes to go with her outfit. Given the gravity of the situation other less meaningful tasks of next to no importance , such as housework, were put off until further notice.

The day of the wedding arrived. Jane spent all morning curling her hair, putting on makeup, and getting dressed. When she was finished she rushed out to the car to meet John.

"Hurry!" John exclaimed. "We are going to be late!!!"

"who am I to argue?" she thought. They were supposed to be there ten minutes ago.

The wedding was lovely and before she knew it they were on thier way back home. Still no compliment from John. Jane had to be bold. She knew she needed to take matters into her own hands and decided to be directly indirect.

"Did you notice anything special at the wedding?" she asked.

"No not really." John replied.

"Oh.....well, in your opinion who looked the best tonight? You know who was the most beautiful person at the wedding?" Jane pressed.

"Oh that's easy," laughed John.

"Yes?" Jane said hopefuly.

"The bride" his words echoed in her ears.

This was it, she thought, the last straw, but "who am I to argue?" Of course a bride would be the most beautiful at her own wedding. It was at this moment that Jane realized this whole expirement was a complete waste of time. She decided to give up the idea entirely, and vowed to never take advice from a tv show again.

The next day Jane went straight to work cleaning her much neglected house. She washed the dishes, laundry, bathtub, baby, and the dog (in that order), and then started scrubbing the kitchen floor. By the time she was finished the place was sparkling. She was hot, sweaty, and tired , but the house looked magnificent.

It was at this time that John appeared in the entry way. In her cleaning frenzy Jane had lost track of the hour. Was it time for him to be home already? She waited for him to come in, but he didn't move. He just stood there in the doorway starring at her.

"Honey?" John spoke gently.

"What?" snapped Jane, still irritated from the night before.

"Oh nothing, it's just that there is something about you today."

"What?" said Jane again, this time in a softer tone.

"It's just that, well you look amazing!" Jane starred at him in disbelief.
"I mean it," John continued, "You really, really look great!"

Jane was perplexed, should she be mad or confused? After two seconds of serious reflection she decided on neither. Instead, she laughed, threw her arms around John, and gave him a great big kiss. "After all," she thought "who am I to argue?"